10 Questions to Ask Before Enrolling Your Child in Childcare

When you tour a daycare or preschool, the director is going to show you the nicest rooms, tell you about their curriculum philosophy, and mention their years of experience. That's their job. Your job is to ask the questions that cut through the sales pitch and tell you what daily life actually looks like for the kids there.

Most parents ask the obvious things: What are your hours? What's included in the tuition? Is there outdoor time? These are fine, but a well-run center and a poorly-run one can give you the same answers.

The questions below are designed to reveal the real culture of the program -- how staff are treated, what happens when things go wrong, and whether the place is run with the children's interests at the center or the operator's convenience.

This is the single most revealing question you can ask, and most parents never ask it.

High turnover means your child is constantly adjusting to new caregivers. For infants and toddlers especially, attachment to consistent adults is foundational to healthy development. A room where the lead teacher changes every six months is not a good environment for a 9-month-old, regardless of how cheerful the decor is.

The national average turnover rate in childcare is around 30% annually. That means roughly one in three teachers leaves each year. High-quality programs with good working conditions often run at 10% to 15% or lower. Programs paying minimum wage with no benefits often see 50% or more turnover.

A good director will answer this question directly and know the number. A defensive or evasive answer is your answer.

Follow-up: How long have the lead teachers in the infant room (or whatever room your child would be in) been here? If the answer is we just hired some new teachers, dig deeper.

The answer should be yes, always. Parents have the right to be present with their child at any licensed childcare program in New York and Connecticut during operating hours. That's state law, not just courtesy.

Some programs add friction to this -- they want you to buzz in, sign a visitor log, or give advance notice. A little security procedure is reasonable. A policy that functionally discourages drop-ins is not.

If a director hesitates, qualifies this with we prefer advance notice in a way that feels like a wall rather than an explanation, or otherwise makes you feel like dropping in would be unwelcome, pay attention to that. Programs with nothing to hide welcome parent presence.

This question is especially important for toddler and preschool rooms. Kids this age hit, bite, grab, and melt down. How the staff responds to those moments shapes how your child learns to regulate their emotions and behavior.

Look for answers that involve redirection, narrating feelings, natural consequences, and calm, consistent boundaries. These are evidence-based approaches that actually work.

Red flags: time-outs for toddlers under 3 (developmentally inappropriate), any mention of raising voices, any implication that difficult children are managed through isolation, or a vague answer like we treat each situation differently without any underlying framework.

Some programs follow a specific social-emotional learning curriculum like Second Step or Conscious Discipline. If they do, that's a good sign -- it means staff are trained consistently rather than each teacher improvising their approach.

You should know what your child ate, how long they napped, their mood, and at least one specific thing they did that day. For infants, this information is essential. For toddlers and preschoolers, it's still important.

Many centers now use apps like Brightwheel, HiMama, or Tadpoles that let teachers log feeding, diaper changes, sleep, activities, and send photos throughout the day. This is genuinely useful and saves a lot of verbal back-and-forth at pickup.

Programs without any daily communication system beyond they did great at pickup are less connected to you as a parent. That's not necessarily a dealbreaker, but it's worth knowing.

Also ask: How do you communicate if there's an incident or concern? Is it a phone call, an app notification, a written incident report? How quickly can you reach a teacher or director if you have a question during the day?

Licensed daycare centers in NY and CT are required to exclude children with symptoms of communicable illness. In practice, this means your child gets sent home for fever, vomiting, diarrhea, or symptoms like pink eye.

The specific policies vary, and some centers are stricter than others. Ask: What symptoms require you to call me to pick up my child? How long does my child need to stay home after a fever? What about runny noses and minor coughs?

The reason this matters practically is that it directly affects how many backup care days you'll need per year. If the center has a strict any fever, stay home for 48 hours policy, you're looking at potentially 10 to 15 pickup-and-stay-home days per year for a toddler who is still building their immune system in group care. Plan accordingly.

Ask to see the daily schedule in writing. A good program has a real schedule, not just a list of general categories.

For an infant room, you're looking for things like: individual feeding and sleep schedules that follow each child's cues (not a rigid group schedule), tummy time, sensory play, and one-on-one interaction time.

For toddlers and preschoolers, you want a balance of: structured circle time, free play (child-directed), outdoor time (ideally daily, weather permitting), art or sensory activities, meals, and rest or quiet time.

What's a red flag: a schedule that's mostly free play with a TV available, or conversely, a schedule that's almost entirely structured with very little child-directed time. Both extremes are poor for development at these ages.

Starting childcare and moving from one room to the next (infant to toddler room, toddler to preschool room) are significant transitions for young children. How a center handles these matters a lot.

For new enrollment, ask if they offer a gradual transition period -- a few short days in the first week before moving to full days. Some centers build this in automatically. Others expect you to hand off your child on day one and that's that. A gradual transition is better for children and for everyone's sanity.

For room transitions (when your child ages into the next class), ask how they handle it. The best centers do staggered transitions where the child spends time in the new room with a familiar teacher before fully moving. Ask how much notice you'll get before a transition happens.

Ask directly: If my child is struggling here and we decide to withdraw, what are the financial implications?

Most centers require 2 to 4 weeks written notice before withdrawal. Some require 30 to 60 days. If you pull your child out without proper notice, you may owe tuition for the notice period regardless of whether your child attends. Read the contract before you sign it.

Also ask: What do you do if a child and a particular teacher aren't a good match? Can you request a different caregiver within the same room, or switch rooms? A good program will work with you on this. A rigid program that treats this request as unusual is less responsive than you want.

This question also reveals the director's attitude toward parental concerns. Someone who responds with openness and flexibility is easier to work with than someone who immediately gets defensive. You're going to have concerns over the months and years your child is there. You want a director who treats those concerns as normal and worth addressing.