How to Interview a Nanny: Questions That Actually Matter

Most parents interviewing a nanny for the first time ask the wrong questions. They ask about experience, references, CPR certification — all things that matter but that don't tell you much about whether this specific person will be good with your specific kid in your specific home.

A nanny is not like hiring an accountant. You're bringing someone into your house every day. They will know your routines, your kids' moods, your parenting style. Your children will attach to them. A bad fit — even with excellent references — creates months of stress, disrupted kids, and starting the whole search over again.

This guide focuses on the questions and observations that actually reveal whether a candidate is a good match. It also covers what fair pay looks like in Westchester and Fairfield County in 2026, what red flags mean in practice, and how to run a trial day before you commit.

Get clear on what you actually need before you start talking to candidates. This sounds obvious, but most parents go into interviews without having settled these questions among themselves, which makes the process chaotic.

Decide on hours: What does your schedule actually look like, including variability? If your job sometimes requires you to stay late, do you need someone who can flex? Do you need them to drive your kids? Do you have a car for them to use?

Decide on duties: The main job is childcare. But will they also do laundry? Meal prep for the kids? Light housekeeping? These are all negotiable, but you need to know your expectations before you sit down with someone. A nanny who expected a purely childcare role and ends up also doing grocery runs and cleaning the kitchen is going to be unhappy, and unhappy nannies leave.

Decide on your budget: Nanny pay in Westchester and Fairfield County in 2026 runs $22 to $35 per hour depending on experience, number of children, and duties. Full-time (40 hours per week) at $25/hour is $52,000 per year in wages before taxes. You're legally required to pay payroll taxes on top of that (employer FICA, unemployment). Many families use a payroll service like GTM Payroll or HomeWork Solutions to handle the legal side. Budget for total cost, not just the hourly rate.

Ask these questions and pay as much attention to how they answer as to what they say.

"Tell me about the children you've cared for most recently. What were they like, and what did you do together on a typical day?" This gets them talking naturally about real experience. Candidates who light up describing kids and activities are a better sign than candidates who give you a resume recitation.

"What do you do when a child is having a meltdown or is really upset about something?" There is no single right answer, but you're listening for calm, non-punitive approaches — distraction, empathy, getting down to eye level, giving space when needed. Watch out for answers that default immediately to "just put them in time-out" or that seem dismissive of the child's feelings.

"What do you do if a child is hurt on your watch — even something minor like a fall?" You want someone who describes assessing the situation, providing first aid if needed, staying calm, and communicating with you promptly. If they hesitate here or seem unsure, that's information.

"Describe a situation where you disagreed with a family's parenting approach or rules. How did you handle it?" A thoughtful nanny will describe communicating respectfully with the parents and following the household rules even if they'd do it differently. Watch out for candidates who describe overriding the parents' wishes because they thought they knew better.

"What are you looking for in a long-term position?" Nannies who are thinking seriously about staying somewhere are often better fits than those just looking for any job right now. You want someone who is genuinely interested in your specific setup.

"Are you legally authorized to work in the United States?" Ask it plainly. It's a legal question you're required to verify. Most nannies in the area who are serious candidates are authorized; don't skip this step.

The trial day is the single most useful part of the hiring process. After a first interview, invite your top one or two candidates in for a paid half-day or full day. Watch how they interact with your kids when they don't know you're observing. Are they engaged? Do they get down on the floor? Do they notice what the kids need before being asked? Do they follow the routines you explained, or do they improvise without asking?

For the reference check, don't just accept the names they give you. Ask for the reference of the most recent family they worked for — not a friend from three positions back. When you call, ask: Would you hire this person again? Why did the arrangement end? How was their communication with you? Were there any situations that concerned you? Most people won't lie outright, but the pauses, the word choices, and what they don't say can be as telling as what they do.

If a candidate can't provide a recent employer reference, ask why. "The family moved" or "I'm in touch with them by email" should not stop you from getting a real phone conversation with someone who employed them recently. If they can't provide that, proceed with caution.